


The storm that rocked the universe

by skinsuit



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005), Gravity Falls, Rick & Morty
Genre: Explicit Language, Look at the Rani's new body!, Multi, One big cracky Crossover, Rick still owes Stan 20 bucks, Rick still owes the Doctor 20 blimfarks, River still owes Rick a bottle of Moët & Chandon Champagne and a screw, The Rani gives no fucks, Work In Progress, nursy rhymes work against timelord mindcontrol just ask Jo Grant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-05 03:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11569089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinsuit/pseuds/skinsuit
Summary: Who is the strange drifter that comes to Gravity falls? Why is Soos late to meet  the Pines family in Portland? And how can the last of the time lords and Rick stop what's about to happen? Does Rick even care?





	1. Terrible forboding

It must have been the middle of the night when the drifter showed up at the back door of the mystery shack. They couldn’t hear the faint scratching at the back door. So the drifter mustered all of his strength and knocked harder. 

Eventually the door opened. Soos looked down and saw a strange ragged, burned, and injured man collapsed on the porch; flies circled his head. 

“Dude, you alive?” Soos asked.

The man looked up at Soos, “Is…. this… Gravity….. Falls?” He said. Each word was croaked out in a painful way, also he sounded British?

“Yeah dude, but you need to get to a hospital. I’m calling 911.”

The man smiled slowly, he had an unnerving smile and squinty eyes.

The Man looked Soos squarely in the eyes, “No… you aren’t.”

Soos felt a weird twitch in his brain. “Naw, I guess not.”

“You… will… take… me into … your house and care for me….” The man said.

“Yeah I will,” Soos said. Why not? It was easier than taking the guy to the hospital and didn’t they have some burn ointment in the medicine cabinet? Soos bent down and looped his arm over the man’s shoulder. The stranger really didn’t weigh much at all… It was easy to help him into the house…

“Just one more thing? Am …I at ….the mystery shack?”

“Yeah.”

The strange drifter smile deepened and he stifled a laugh that turned into a cough.

“You okay?”

“Oh, I’m so much better than okay, Jesus Ramirez.”

“Heh. You know my name…. that’s not suspicious at all.” Soos said sincerely.   
~~~  
The Stan o’War II sat in the Port of Portland. 

“This is weird,” Stan said. “Soos should have been here to pick us up.”

“Well, he’s just late. He is running your business now, maybe he’s got other concerns…” Ford replied.

“Naw, he wouldn’t be late, that’s not him.” Stan said.

“I think I see Mabel and Dipper approaching” Said Ford.

“GRUUNNNNNNNNKKKKKLLLLLLESSSS!!!!!!!!!” Mabel screamed running up to them and folding both of them into a big hug.   
Dipper trudged behind, he was still wearing Wendy’s old hat. He smiled in a tired way.

“I’m so glad to see everyone!” Mabel said. “Wait… where’s Soos, he was supposed to pick us up and take us to Gravity Falls.”

“That’s what we’re wondering,” Stan said.

“How long has it been?” Dipper asked.

“About a half hour,” Said Ford.

“Huh, that’s not like him,” said Dipper. 

“He hasn’t even been in touch with us for two weeks,” Mabel said. “We usually video chat all the time. He was real excited, couldn’t wait to show you guys the new attractions him and Mel made. I called and texted all of them, no one answered.”

“So you’re saying this is suspicious?” Dipper asked.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Ford mused, “but we don’t know for sure.”

“I just texted Wendy. She said the shack’s been closed for two weeks, this isn’t good. Something’s happened, I know it” Mabel shouted

“Then why are we standin’ here gabbin’ about it, let’s find out what happened!” Stan said.

They rented a car, piled in and headed out to the falls.

~~~~~~~~  
Melody was slightly shaking as she carried the tray up the stairs to the master bedroom, She and Soos used to share it, but the drifter and had taken it over since his arrival. She took a deep breath and knocked at the closed door of the bedroom. Soos opened it, his eyes blank, not seeing her. 

“Ms. Melody with my brekkers, on time for once.” She’d once loved British accents, now they were ruined. 

Melody looked down, she didn’t want to meet his horrible squinty eyes. Since he’d been cleaned up, the drifter it seemed had receding sandy colored hair and slight goatee. He was still covered with cuts and burns. He spent most of his time in bed, but had ordered Soos and Abuelita to ransack Stan’s old office also the room Ford used to sleep in. She didn’t look at him as she walked forward and set the tray down on the nightstand.

“Eggs and toast with marmalade, looks scrummy! And there’s my tea, I hope Granny made it properly this time, don’t want her to suffer do we?” He said. “Aren’t you going to answer me, Mels?”

Melody tried so hard NOT to look at him. She didn’t want to end up like Soos or Abuelita, hypnotized under his control. 

“No,” She muttered

He sipped the tea. “Aren’t you going to look at me, Melody? Aren’t you?”

She didn’t reply. 

“I know Stanford Pines hid the plans here. I know he had a secret lab, but I’ve searched this place top to bottom and still can’t get in it!” He exclaimed, “That doesn’t make me happy.”

She looked up, keeping focused on Soos, who just stood there looking blank and miserable. It hurt her so much to see him like this. 

“Look at that big lump! What did a smart girl like you ever see in a dummy like that?” He said. “Nevermind, I know one of you KNOWS the code to that lab. I’ll get it out one way or another. I’ll make him hurt you or his Nan, if you don’t tell me.” 

Melody sighed. “I don’t know the code.”

There was an evil joy in the drifter’s voice. “Or should I make him hurt himself? Which would be worse for you? C’MON LOOK AT ME AND ANSWER! I AM THE MASTER AND YOU WILL OBEY ME!”

 

She looked up at that round, face with it’s squinty eyes and thin smirking lips. She could feel her brain starting to switch off….

”Nononononono- Little Bopeephaslosthersheepanddoesn’tknowwheretofindthemleavethemaloneandthey’llcomehomwaggigngtheeirtailsbehindthem Little Bopeephaslosthersheepanddoesn’tknowwheretofindthemleavethemaloneandthey’llcomehomwaggigngtheeirtailsbehindthem—“  
She could feel her mental resolve coming back.

“—SHUT UP!” The Master lunged at her ready to strike.

There was knocking at the door, loud and obnoxious.

“SOOS, MELODY, UHHH SOOS’S GRANDMA! WE’RE HERE, WHAT’S GOING ON? OPEN UP!” It was Stan’s voice. Melody never felt so glad to hear that grating Jersey accent in her life.

Soos began to stir at Stan’s voice. “Mr. Pines? Is that really him?”

“Soos we brought snacks and glitter!” Mabel’s shout from downstairs.

“Oh my gosh! The Pineses are here. Pines? Or Pineses, I never can—“ Soos began.

“Be quiet!” The master chided irritably. “Wait….” he got out the bed and limped to the window and drew the curtains back, glancing out he commented. “That’s Stanford Pines, we need him.”

~~~~~~

Stan, Ford, Dipper, and Mabel had been waiting outside the shack for what seemed like an eternity when Abuelita Ramirez finally opened the door.

“Come in be careful we are under new management,” She said.

“Where’s Soos and why’s the Shack closed during prime business hours?!” Stan demanded.

“Quiet, Stanley I think something’s wrong,” Ford said.

“Why are all the blinds down?” Mabel asked. “And why do I smell tea and burnt rubber?”

“Where’s Soos and Melody?” Dipper asked

“Sssshhh, will answer later.” Abuelita said.

They walked through the creaking dark mystery shack until they got to the office. Soos stood by the door, so did Melody, neither of them saying anything, their heads down. The chair was turned with its back to them.  
Abuelita locked the office door behind them and the feeling of discomfort grew tenfold. 

That’s when the chair spun around and The Master looked at them grinning from behind the desk.

“Who the heck are you?” Stan said. “And what did you do my shack?”

“Me? I’m the Master and you are going to be my guests for the summer!” The Master said. “Wait did I say guests? I mean hostages!”

“I’d like to see you try, ya limey bastard!” Stan yelled, grabbing his golden knuckle dusters.

“We’ll fight you!” Mabel shouted, defensive glitter clutched tightly in her fist.

“Whoever you are, you won’t get away with this!” Dipper said.

“-Wait!” Ford said flinging his arm out. “This isn’t an ordinary human! If my calculations are correct we are dealing with a dangerous alien, a Timelord from Gallifrey!”

The Master’s smile widened. “Bingo! Now give me access to your lab and papers! There is a certain being I need to make contact with… you know him as Bill Cipher.”

“What?! NEVER!” Ford cried.

“Thought you’d say that so I’m going to——“ The Master began.

Then suddenly with a flash of light and smoke, a figure appeared, a thin teen with patchy brown hair in a ragged yellow shirt and gray pants. He pointed a silvery gun at The Master and in a cracking quavering voice, that was oddly familiar, he said,

“M-M-my n-n-name is M-M-Morty Smith on behalf of the Time Agency under t-t-the Authority of Time baby, you are under a—a—a-arrest, and I’ll KILL you if you don’t-don’t—“

“Blendin?” Mabel whispered

“Why’s he calling himself Morty and what’s he doing here?” Dipper whispered back.

“Go on do it then and kill me,” The Master smiled.

Morty fired the gun, it sparked and crackled but nothing happened. “Oh time-shit! I’m screwed now!”


	2. Deals & Dirt

The Master grinned wider and clapped his hands. “Well, well… so Time Baby sent someone? Couldn’t waddle down here himself? That tells me one thing, I succeed and you…. fail.” The Master ended by picking up a small grey metal and yellow cylinder. “Let’s see what I can do with my laser screwdriver—“

 

“—Wait! Y-you c-c-an’t get away that easy-“ Blendin Morty began adjusting his gun.

The Master casually raised his laser screwdriver and zapped him, there was orange glow of light, a puff of smoke, a sizzle and where Morty-Blendin stood, nothing but a heap of grey dust.

“—Looks like I did,” The Master said in causally cheerful voice. “Anyone else wanna go against me? Now where’s the lab?”

The Pines family began to yell at once.

“—Let’s just see how tough you are without that screwdriver!” 

“-I’ll show you, I’ve got my grappling hook!”

“-We defeated Bill, we’ll defeat you!”

“—You are mad and I won’t help you!”

“SHUT UP!” The Master Screamed over all of them. “You do know if you try anything, anything at all. HE-“ The Master pointed at Soos. “-Will suffer! So will his Nan, and his girlfriend! I’ll make all of you watch!”

There was sudden hush.

Melody looked at them with tired, scared eyes, but Soos’s and Abuelita’s expressions were blank and lacking any sign of recognition. 

“I’d like to see ya try!” Stan shouted.

“Would you?” The Master chirruped, “I’m not going to hurt them myself. No, too messy. Jesus will, I’ll make him rip his Granny and Melody limb from limb and slit his own throat! All I have to do is give the word, Stanley and he’ll obey. You want to test me?”

“We won’t let you!” Mabel shouted.

“Yeah!” Added Dipper.

“The youngest of the Pines family, so brave, so clever, and yet so DUMB,” The Master said. “You may have defeated Bill with kittens, tickles and a memory gun. But I’m made of different stuff, and I don’t fall for schemes. You’ll all die and this place will burn, if I don’t get help.”

“You can’t threaten us!” Dipper said.

“You wanna bet?” The Master raised his laser screwdriver and aimed at Dipper and Mabel.

“STOP!” Ford shouted. “I’ll help you, just—don’t hurt any of them. I know what you are, and I suspect when you contact Bill you can get us out of here, before he takes his revenge.” 

Mabel gasped, Stan swore, and Dipper scowled at Ford.

“Jolly good! I knew you’d come around! I might just have room on my TARDIS for some staff, understood?” The Master said with a wink.

Ford looked worried and sad, he bowed his head. “Yes.”

“Now show me your lab and the journals!” The Master commanded.

“Very well,” Ford said and walked out the office door. The Master followed, in two or three minutes Ford returned alone. 

“He’s in the lab, I told him I was getting the journals. Looks like he doesn’t know where the statue of Bill is or that the journals have been destroyed. We’re going to be fine, I just need to stall him a little bit and call someone who can help.”

“Who?” Dipper asked.

“Exactly,” said Ford. “Ah, well he actually doesn’t like that name anymore….”

~~~~~~~~  
The Doctor could hear River singing in the shower as he sat on the bed adjusting his bow tie and putting on his socks. It had been fun, but in this body, he still wasn’t entirely sure why River was so mad for it really. He could go without for decades… but it had been well—interesting— and she’d let him wear his fez and everything! In the distance he could hear the TARDIS phone ringing faintly but persistently. River has stopped singing, the shower had stopped, and the phone kept ringing.

“You’d better answer that Sweetie,” River called from the Shower.

“Yes, I was about to—“ The Doctor began. 

He got up and ran haphazardly into the console room. The phone gave one last ring then stopped.  
“Oh, that’s unfortunate.” The Doctor said.

“Listen to the voicemail sweetie,” River said, she was behind him draped in a red silk bathrobe and nothing else.

“Right voicemail… voicemail…” He pressed the right button and a recording began.

“Doctor, this is Stanford Pines. I don’t know which of you this will reach or when I’ll reach you… you said if I ever needed help to call on you. There is a timelord in the Mystery shack he calls himself The Master and what he wants to do threatens the very fabric of the universe!” Ford said. 

“The Master but he was —“

“—well he’s not anymore, is he?” River said.

The message went on, “You will need help—“

“Help? I’m the Doctor!”

“— Contact Sanchez, he is involved in this somehow or will be, hopefully for the better, I saw a version of his grandson appear at the shack. The Master must have killed him but maybe with both of you working together— The Master’s coming back. I must leave.” 

That’s when the cloister bell in the TARDIS began to ring wildly. Ford was right the very fabric of reality was at stake!

“Right, to the Mystery Shack!” The Doctor said, and started for the controls.

River was already there, pushing buttons and pulling levers. “No, we have to get Rick first.”

The Doctor made a frustrated noise and flapped his hands. “No. We. Are. Not. Rick Sanchez is impossible! He only looks out for himself! He can’t be trusted! Besides he has some kind of invisible barrier around his house, the TARDIS can’t get through!”

The TARDIS shook and made a painful grinding and screeching noise, River and the Doctor braced themselves on the console. The shaking got worse and so did the noise. River pulled a lever on the console back to the edge, holding there with a grimace and all of her strength. The console began sparking, and the TARDIS seemed to scream. That’s when it came to a juddering, stuttering, halt. Everything was normal for a fraction of a second, then it fell with the noise of splintering wood and a solid thud. The Doctor found himself on the floor underneath River. The impact was enough that he saw lights in front of his eyes, his head hurt and his joints felt painful. Being a timelord this quickly wore off. River had righted herself, brushed off the dust, straightened her hair, fixed her make-up and stepped out. The Doctor shoved his dislocated arm back in the socket, straightened his jaw and followed her, his face set in a scowl. A redheaded teenage girl in a pink tank top and white pants was standing in the door frame looking bored, phone in hand. A short teenage boy with brown hair in a yellow t-shirt and blue jeans stared at them looking just as nonplussed.

“Hello Morty and Summer, I’m River Song and this is The Doctor. Could you get your grandfather for us?”

 

“Awww geez, we just fixed the roof, ya’know,” 

“You mean Grandpa Rick right? And not our Dad’s Dad, because you weirdos never specify.”

“Aren’t you a sarcastic young lady.”

“I didn’t just crash my phone booth, through the garage roof.”

“It’s not a phone booth, It’s a Police box… errm it’s not that, well it’s a TARDIS actually,” The Doctor said tugging on his bow tie in smug way. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Summer didn’t seem impressed. “Grandpa Rick is passed out somewhere.”

The Doctor let go of his tie and looked slightly sad.

“He’s on the sofa,” Morty mumbled

“Splendid, it’s been a long time since I saw him,” River said. “You know I was almost your grandmother,”

“Ewwww,” chorused Morty and The Doctor as they began to walk through the house.

Rick was indeed passed out on the sofa, surrounded by empties; snoring, drooling, sprawled out haphazardly, and still out like a light. Morty gave him a shake.

“Wha… Morty… leave me alone…juss leave me alone.” Rick muttered and rolled over.

“Rick, there uhhh people here to see you,” Morty said.

Rick turned back over, rubbed his eyes and looked at them steadily.

“Why are you still with this loser, River?” He muttered.

River gave him a poisoned smile. “You never had a chance, you know.”

“Yeah, I know….” Rick muttered, looked at the Doctor. “He’s now…what a twelve year old with no eyebrows now?”

“Hey! You still owe me 20 blimfarks!” The Doctor shouted

“So? You were cheating, besides you got me fired from UNIT and deported!” Rick said.

“You we’re spying on us for Torchwood London!” The Doctor retorted.

“You were just jealous cuz Jo dug me.” Rick said with a smirk.

“Was not! Anyhow, I rescued you in Colombia!” The Doctor said with an air of smugness.

“‘Rescued’ yeah, you destroyed my lab, my work, and killed my boss!” Rick said.

“You were making a clone army of super soldiers!” The Doctor huffed.

“Yeah, I needed the money.” Rick said scratching an itch on his arm

“You were working for a DRUGLORD!” The Doctor bellowed.

“So? I was going to find a way.. to sabotage it… then you had to come along, blond, crickety with that ginger twink and that Aussie Bitch!” Rick said.

“He wasn’t! She…. well she was bit of a… yeah…” The Doctor admitted. “I'll never forgive you for stealing Ace!" The Doctor sulked.  
"I didn't-... wait who's Ace? I'm assuming that hasn't happened yet for me... also why the fuck are you here?” Rick asekd

“Well darling, you remember The Master?” Riber interjected.

“…. the camp and crazy time lord?” Rick said. “I wouldn’t touch him with a nine foot pole.”

“Yes.” River nodded.

“Why is HE darling!” The Doctor sulked

“Because sweetie, he is. Now getting back to what I was saying…” River said calmly.

“….The Master is up to some scheme, whoop-de-fuck. Why should I care?” Rick asked.

“Because he’s in Gravity falls!” The Doctor chimed in.

“…yeah so, it doesn’t mean anything?” Rick said. 

“Because he’s going to summon Bill CIPHER!” The Doctor shouted. “AN ELDER-GOD! THE VERY FABRIC OF REALITY IS THREATENED!”

“…There are other realities, why should I care?” Rick sighed.

“You think they’ll stop at this one?” River added.

“Hmmmm good point. But still not caring…” Rick said.

“A version of your grandson, was seen, briefly by our source. It looked like he’d come back from some distant timeline and….” River continued on.

“Me?” Morty Started. “W—w-what do I have to do with this?”

“It was version of you Morty. Could be some other Morty.” Rick shrugged. 

“I told you River, he’s impossible!” The Doctor pouted. 

“River, why are you still with this loser?” Rick asked sarcastically

“He actually cares about things, Rick.” River added

“So? if he wants to save reality, he should talk to the other Timelord.” Rick said.

“The Master, but he wants to destroy everything.” The Doctor sighed.

“Not The Master, duh.” Rick said.

“Then who?” The Doctor asked.

“You don’t know… wait...he really doesn’t know… fine I’ll show you.” Rick said.

Rick pulled out his portal gun.

“We are not doing that, we can take the TARDIS.” The Doctor said.

“That heap of junk? This is much more reliable, it’ll actually get us where we want to go.” Rick said.

“I don’t want to leave her here, you might steal her or dismantle her for parts.” The Doctor said.

“No. I wouldn’t steal that ancient shitbox if you left it by my door.” Rick said.

Rick aimed the portal gun and zapped out a glowing green portal.

“Summer, we’re going to ‘save reality’ you wanna come?” Rick called out.

“Naw, sounds dumb,” Summer called back.

Rick, Morty, River and reluctantly the Doctor stepped into the green swirling vortex.

They stepped out into a bland office corridor. 

“Where are we?” Morty asked.

“Hinteracorp, one of the -urp- cutting -urp- edge bio-chemical firms.” Rick said and took a pull from his flask.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of them… but why are we here?” The doctor asked in a bored fashion.

The logo hung on a door in front of them, River looked at it and then back at Rick and the Doctor.

“…You really don’t know, Sweetie?” River asked. “Look at the door.”

The Doctor stared at it puzzling, then it hit. “The Rani! She’s still alive! How did she… Why did she…?”

“…because the time war sucked.” Rick said, then belched.

The door also read: ‘A.Hinter CEO.’

“Why don’t you ask her?” River said sweetly.

“Right! I will!” The Doctor charged into the rather mundane looking executive office. The only real relief from the boring grey, white, and black decor was a large potted ficus in the far corner of the room.

Two women looked up, one was tall and of Indian descent with arrogant eyes and high cheekbones, dressed in a burgundy pantsuit with shoulder pads. The other was short, black, her hair in afro puff ponytails and dressed in shades of pink and blue.   
Rick pressed a button on his portal gun. 

The elegant woman glared at them. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?”

“YOU KNOW!” the doctor roared back.

“NO I DON’T! I’M GETTING SECURITY!”

The other woman seemed to inch away. 

“Hang on…. “ the doctor paused and listened for the sound of two heartbeats, he could only hear one from that woman. “….You don’t know who we are….”

“NO!” The woman screamed. “Why isn’t security here?”

 

The Doctor listened again, he faintly heard two heartbeats, coming from the direction of…. the little woman he took for the assistant. “…RANI”

And the small black woman who was frantically trying to open a door on the ficus plant turned to him, a resigned expression on her face. 

 

Her new voice was high and squeaky. “Oh, bugger.”


End file.
